Short tempers ruin your life!

Have you ever felt angry before? Just for a short amount of time, you just burst yourself into anger mode!

One simple mistake, and you burst into anger. Triggered by something that annoys you, you choose to be angry about it and say something harsh that’s triggered you.

Is it okay to do this?

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What is short temper?

According to britannica.com, short temper means a tendency to become angry easily. Short temper is like a quick fix for your upsetting problems. You are tired of something or you feel your pride has been wound. Sometimes short temper can be caused by those reasons. That’s nothing problem of protecting our pride, but how we react and respond to it is the problem.

According to healthline.com, uncontrolled anger or short temper triggers our body’s fight-or-flight response, which includes the release of stress hormones. This frequent flood of stress hormones can eventually cause long-term health problems including: insomnia. high blood pressure.

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Have you seen someone that choose to be mad about something simple or unnecessary that you know the simple fix for the problem? It’s really annoying for other people around them. Even that, if you have a vacation or holiday with your family and someone all of a sudden become angry about something such as a wrong order of McDonald’s or something unnecessary. It’s really ruining your holiday right?

We now understand how we feel when someone in our lives loses their temper. Now we need to learn how to not be that person or to avoid becoming someone who has a short temper.

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How do I avoid losing my temper?

A short temper could be avoided by doing meditations, journaling, etc. We don’t talk about that right now. We want to talk about how to respond correctly when we want to become angry about something.

We can’t control our triggers because they’re out of our control, but we can control how we respond to that reaction. You need to know that something that triggers you to be annoyed and then makes you angry does not mean that the trigger is causing you problems. It’s the action that you choose that’s causing you the problem.

My talented (sarcasm) drawing of reaction and action

We need to separate triggers and actions!

For example:

I ask for a letter from my college department office. I got the letter, but the letter has a lot of wrong punctuation and typos. I became angry with the employee and left the office with a bad temper.

If we break this down, you can see that there are reactions and actions:

I ask for a letter from my college’s department office. I got the letter, but the letter has a lot of wrong punctuation and typos. I became angry with the employee and left the office with a bad temper.

As we can see from the bold and italic words,

became angry is my reaction; leaving the office with temper is my action; leaving the office with temper is my choice of action. From that moment, I’m actually have the right and awareness to choose my respond. I can choose to help the employee to fix the problem or I can choose to say thank you for the employee for making the letter even though it’s not correct.

It’s all under my control, but becoming angry about it is on my emotional level. I don’t have the control of my emotions. I could be triggered by something, and the reaction that I get will vary depending on the event. So, at the end, I could choose to follow my reaction or take the right action towards it.

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Have you ever seen this lovely slap from Will Smith?

You can see the reaction that he got and the action that he chose. You can see that at first, Will Smith is smiling about that joke that Chris Rock told, but then, all of a sudden, his smile went down and he chose to slap Chris Rock at the stage. It’s embarrassed Will Smith for the rest of the event.

He reacted to the joke, but he chose to do the slap.

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Practical ways to let go of your temper

Now, one practical way that I could give to you for controlling yourself or for letting go of the feeling of anger is:

Just sit with your emotions.

Act as if your emotions are your friends. Give them a seat to talk about what’s wrong is the problem. Understand him and then you will start to see that he will go away. You don’t need to offer a comment or criticism. Just listen to him and understand him.

People are not meant to be angry. They sometimes want to be understood.

This could teach you how to have empathy for other people. Treat other people like you want to be treated. If you treat them well, than you will be treated well.

Well, maybe you didn’t receive the same treatment that you gave, but it will show you what a valuable character you are!

Therefore, all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them; for this is the law and the prophets.

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I am Kevin Nokia, and I hope that from this article we can learn together and improve together. I hope you guys can give me criticism and suggestions to improve my writing. 

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