How To Change Your Perspective For Happiness

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Can we really feel happiness even in the worst situation ever?

People say that happiness comes from inside and not from outside. I believe that, even though it’s pretty hard to become happy from inside. When I feel like sh*t, I tend to think negatively because it matches the “situation” that I thought I had.

Well, is it right to think that way?

The answer is no. We think negatively because our thoughts make it seem like the “situation” is appropriate to think negatively. There are a lot of bad situations, like an accident, a quarrel, and other things. Even so, our minds tricked us into thinking negatively. We feel like it’s the right thing to do.

When you get rejected by someone, you probably feel bad and disappointed by the outcome. Especially when you’ve already planned it for a long time. You start to feel angry, sad, disappointed, or hateful. All those kinds of feelings are normal, but not for long. We have control over our reactions to all the feelings that we have. We can make ourselves happy by that time just by thinking happy things. It’s like one turn, and then everything can change.

Even though I said you could change it in “one turn”, I didn’t say that it would be easy.

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Overthinking

I once overthought about stuff in the future over which I had no control at all. I feel afraid and worried about what will happen. I get angry and whine about all the things that I’m working on that day. I don’t feel like doing something productive. I choose to be negative, and it really works. I feel like it’s really appropriate to think about negative things if I were in that situation. That’s why I’m unhappy.

It took me around 2 days to really realize that I was thinking negatively. I felt tired after two days and started to take a different approach. I start thinking, What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Even if the worst happens, there’s no way someone can take all the things that I have learned and experienced until this time. Nobody can take the wisdom that I have learned. Even if “bad” things happen, I can take a different perspective on the situation.

Then I arrive at the stage of acceptance. I started to think positively and became much happier.

It’s a happy ending, but there’s something wrong with the story.

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Awareness

It took me 2 days to aware about what was I’m doing. What was I doing in the first two days?

I was thinking negatively about all things and didn’t want to take a different approach, even though I knew that I had become more miserable. If only I could force myself to think positively at that time, I would save much more time to find a solution to my problems. I can use my time effectively for something that I really like. At the end, I can become a much better person and make the most of where I am.

So, the problem with overthinking is that you aren’t really aware of what you are doing. You aren’t aware of what the environment really is. You aren’t aware of what you can use in your place. You don’t really make the most of your time. Whereas the most valuable asset that you have is time.

Then what do you need to do to quickly become aware of what you’ve been thinking about?

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Meditation and Journaling

Start by meditating and journaling. If you can’t do both, at least do some meditation. Even if it’s only 1 minute. We get ideas sometimes. We get creative sometimes. We became relaxed sometimes. We become much happier sometimes. When we really settle our minds. Settling our minds is like settling agitated water. When you can really settle it, it all becomes clear.

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Conclusion

Even so, don’t expect too much from the result. Just focus on the process of doing it. You might feel miserable right now, and it’s hard to really think positively. Then, start by doing the process. Remember that,

“Everybody has to start somewhere. You have your whole future ahead of you. Perfection doesn’t happen right away.”

–Haruki Murakami

You know how to control it, and you have the control. The dark has its own times. Why don’t you just turn the lights on? There are a lot of things you can see with the bright lights.

. . . 

I am Kevin Nokia, and I hope that from this article we can learn together and improve together. I hope you guys can give me criticism and suggestions to improve my writing.

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